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Hands-Off Social Media Marketing

August 9th, 2010 · 3 Comments


Look Ma!  No Hands! (Photo Credit richardmasoner on Flickr)    

A friend of mine recently received a letter forwarded to her by a colleague she respected with a pitch for a new social media program offered by a company titled: “Hands-Off Social Media Marketing”  My purpose here isn’t to call out small companies for their terrible marketing techniques so I’ll not identify them.  (But there’s always Google if you’re really interested.)

It seems to me that this should be the epitome of snake oil Social Media salesmanship.   How could anyone create a program that offers to represent your business in a social situation when your business doesn’t need to be involved at all?  A totally hands-off approach of representing you to your customers?  Think about that for a minute- I’ll represent YOU to YOUR CUSTOMERS, and you don’t need to be involved at all. 

In the real world this would be laughable- Let me open another store for you but you don’t need to know anything about it at all.  We’ll do everything for you.  Pick the location, signs, sales people, the stock, hours of operation, and the way we treat your customers.  All you have to do is rake in cash, after you pay me of course!  In that context everyone would say this is bullshit- however, if you do it in technology and social media it doesn’t seem to stink so much.

I’m not going to go into the absurdity of the rest of the pitch letter- where they promise to put your company on 150 social networks and get you 500 targeted social media connections in less than 60 days.  (Let’s see 500 people on 150 networks is less than 4 each- yea that’s doable in 60 days.)  I’ve included the entire email pitch with identity redacted to protect the innocent (recipients, not senders).

But if you’re on 150 social networks, who’s going answer any new friend requests you receive from people on those networks, after the initial 60 days.  Let’s not talk about the fact that 60 days in social media is just the beginning of the relationship, and you’ve not developed anything at all.

Actually there is one good thing in this letter, they are keeping it limited to only 5 select customers.

In my view as a social media professional this type of “Hands-Off” approach to social media is the last thing that any company should consider.  In reality this approach will ultimately do more harm than good.  The companies who buy this service will suffer from poor representation and their clients and prospective customers will be angered or dissatisfied with their poor responses to social media.  In the end the companies who hire these charlatans will suffer as a result because they will have alienated customers.

He’s the pitch for your enjoyment:

I am writing you tonight to check in with you about how things are going with your 2010 business goals. Are you currently leveraging social media to increase your revenue?

Let me share you with a simple truth. Your business will not continue to be successful or reach its full potential if you are not integrating social marketing into your business development programs. I am sorry to be so blunt, but it is really just that simple. 

Big businesses are using social marketing to do things like (i) decrease costs; (ii) retain and attract more clients; (iii) build client loyalty and ultimately; (vi) increase revenue – while smaller companies miss out.

"Hands-Off" Social Media Marketing is our brand new all-inclusive, cost-effective 60-day social marketing program. We are making this program available to only 5 new clients.

Here is what you get:

Establish Your Profile On Social Networks. We will establish customized profiles for your business or personal brand on 150 social networks. This includes Facebook, Twitter and YouTube. We will also optimize your LinkedIn profile by using targeted keyword that are strategically selected to increase your search engine placement. We do this to protect your brand name on popular social networks and build your online presence, quickly.

  >> 1. Online Community Building. We will help you build a targeted online community of at least 500 people within your social networks who are in your target market or geographic location.

  >> 2. Social Media Strategic Planning. We will create a custom social marketing strategy for your business, so you know how to build a magnetic brand image and maintain momentum in the online world.

  >> 3.  Personal Consulting. You will have access to SIX 30 minute consulting sessions (3 per month) with me by telephone or Skype – your choice, to refine your integrated marketing program.

  >> 4. Daily Updates on Social Networks. We will make daily, automated updates on 10 social networks (which shall include Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn) for 2 months. We will both write the updates and post them on your social networks. This is designed to help you develop a strong online presence and increase your influence, quickly.

We developed this two month/ 60 day all-inclusive social marketing program for busy business owners like you, who want to leverage the power of social media right now, but do not have enough time or know how to get started the right way.   

This program is perfect for professional service firms in the legal, accounting, coaching, consulting and recruiting industries.

If you are ready to jump-start your social marketing program with the all-inclusive support provided in our "Hands-Off Social Media Marketing" program, please give me a call at (800) 753-6576 and we will get you started.  

I encourage you to call right away while there is still space available. It would be my pleasure to support you.

Posted via email from ckieff’s posterous

Tags: Reasons For Net Marketing

3 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Tweets that mention Hands-Off Social Media Marketing -- Topsy.com // Aug 9, 2010 at 7:42 pm

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Richard E. Byrd, Lee Timothy and David James, Mary Cala. Mary Cala said: Hands-Off Social Media Marketing: A friend of mine recently received a letter forwarded to her by a colleague she … http://bit.ly/dDwA6w [...]

  • 2 Steve Allan // Aug 10, 2010 at 5:08 pm

    OK….I’ll bite. What do I have to pay for this amazing record offer?

  • 3 Chris Kieff // Aug 11, 2010 at 10:05 am

    And that’s not all! You get a free set of Ginsu Knives just for trying social media out! Yours to keep even if you never Facebook again!
    Seriously, I don’t know what they charge but they can’t repay the client for the lost customers.

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